Meatloaf
Cory was notorious for sticking his hands in his pants
during
French class and to fondle himself. He may have thought that no one was
watching but everyone was. He would then proceed to sniff his fingers
nonchalantly after gratifying himself. Everyone was quite sickened at
the sight. Cory graduated from high school to become a chef for his
alma mater.
One day Cory decided that it would be most
delicious to create a masterpiece of meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Cory
went to the clattering industrial fridge to find a bucket of ground
hamburger. He lumbered the bucket to the prep table where it rested
with a loud thud. It was customary to wear gloves for food prep but
Cory loved the feeling of raw meat between his fingers and the lasting
smell it created under his fingernails. With a splat he threw a big wad
of brownish grey flesh on the work surface. He rubbed the meat between
his fingers, enjoying the wet sensation. He squished and squashed and
only wished he could run his toes in it as well. Carelessly he added
spices, a dash of this a dash of that. He worked his meat like there
was no tomorrow. Finally, he was done. He pulled out a crusty old loaf
pan and with a loud splat he threw the meatloaf into the pan. What a
glorious masterpiece he thought. Mmmmm this would be so good.
Garrett shares what is either a brilliant verbal diptych, or a
terrible, terrible pun. Either way, don't resist the urge to go wash
your hands -- just stop before they start to bleed.
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